Smash City: Hungry Hungry Hedgehogs

[SHM 128 III]

It usually went without saying that almost everyone wanted to live in Smash City. Granted, a few of the fighters preferred to live in locals that were most like home, such as Mario in the Mushroom-y Kingdom or the Star Fox crew aboard the Great Fox itself, but even they liked visiting the city often. It was clean, it was (mostly) safe, and it had all the necessities for living all in one place. In short, there was pratically no one who didn't like Smash City.

... No one, that is, except for one particularly annoyed hedgehog, who was now standing on a hill ouside the city, looking down on it with noticable aggrivation.





Shadow the Hedgehog shook his head in disgust as he stood there. He hated cities for numberous reasons. One, they were always the target for attacks, and he was usually right in the middle of it. Second, he prefered his quiet, something that the loudness of busy streets didn't exactly meet.

But mostly, he hated cities because they were full of people. No matter what he did, his presence would always result in shocked stares by all he walked passed. They hardly ever saw him as a person, but as Project Shadow: Professor Gerald Robotnik's tool for revenge on humanity. Not even saving the human race from the Professor's scheme or from the Black Arms' invasion seemed to change much of this.

... Of course, that was back home. In This World, all that people knew of him was what that "faker" Sonic the Hedghog told them, which was undoubtedly a sugar-coated tale about how he sacrificed himself to save the world. Still, the stigma of it clung to him, making him very unenthusiastic about visiting Smash City.

But visit it he must. Throughout all of the Professor's research, he never thought about giving his "Ultimate Lifeform" a way around nourishing himself besides the traditional use of food. And while the Space Colony ARK (which somehow made its way to This World as well) had a cafeteria with enough rations for all its researchers and residents, even that had to run out sometime.

In other words, Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Lifeform, had to go... grocery shopping.

He was already wishing he had just died after defeating Final Hazard.

However, he didn't say a word of protest against his current situation. Instead, with one final sigh of frustration, Shadow activated his skate shoes and made his way into the city's limits.

[Native One]

The inside of Smash City was just what it looked like when one looked at it from afar: A big, beautiful metropolis with skyscrapers reaching the skies... figuratively, of course. The streets were packed with tons of people, mostly going back to their houses and homes after a long day of work.

Big neon signs, giant buildings, traffic jams everywhere... This is one place where people could either call this 'Heaven' or 'Heck'.

Walking down the block towards the grocery store was a boy with ice-cream shaped hair. He wore a red and yellow striped shirt and blue jean-shorts.

Lucas had gone to the grocery store to pick up food (duh), since he was all out at his apartment (he's a kid, he can't afford a home), he had to go pick some up.

[SHM 128 III]

The black hedgehog was now walking down the city streets, having long ago deactivated his air skates to avoid crashing into someone while using them. Shadow was still not thrilled in the least about being here, but he had to admit, it was nice not having everyone staring at him. As he made his way down the sidewalk, he hardly bothered to move out of the way for others, instead prefering just to bump into them as he continued in a perfectly straight line. This still held true as he brushed his way past a rather young kid in a red-and-yellow shirt, not even bothering to look down at him as he went by.

The grocery store was only another block away (at least, he thought so... he wasn't gonna stop and ask for directions). He hoped getting his supplies would be as relatively painless as it was reaching the store.

[Native One]

When the hedgehog brushed passed him, Lucas was pushed to the side of the sidewalk, and was almost run down by a bicycle.

"Whoa!" Lucas managed to dodge the speeding bike. He sighed in relief, and looked back at Shadow, who hadn't gotten that far down the sidewalk. He, not being the bravest of all men, wasn't going to say anything to the black hedgehog, but he did want to get his point out. So, he mumbled, "At least say 'excuse me' if you're gonna bump into people..."

Of course, he didn't say it that loud, so he probably didn't hear it.

[SHM 128 III]

Unfortunately for Lucas, Shadow just so happened to hear that little comment. Stopping for a moment, the hedgehog turned and glared at the kid.

"What was that?" he inquired. He didn't sound angry, but he did sound rather annoyed.

[Native One]

"...Gulp..." Lucas looked ready to make a mess in his pants. He hadn't thought the guy would hear him.

"Um... uh... I-I... said for you to...say 'excuse me'...?"

He covered his face, just incase Shadow would want to hurt him.

[SHM 128 III]

Shadow continued to stare at the kid as he cowered in fear. While it was obvious that he was terrified at what Shadow might do to him (which he was undoubtedly fully capable of), the hedgehog simply turned back around and walked off.

"Hmph... Pathetic human..."

The grocery store was now in sight; he was almost there. Hopefully, that kid wouldn't try anything stupid again.

[Native One]

Pathetic, yes, even though he saved the world once. Lucas did his best to calm down, and once he did, took off to the direction of the grocery store.

He was walking for a bit when he realized he still saw the hedgehog in front of him. He tried walking at a slower pace, but it seemed that he was going to the same destination Lucas was going.

"Oh, no... please no..."

[SHM 128 III]

Unforunately for Lucas, his worst fears were about to be realized: with a low growl, Shadow turned and entered the grocery store. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. The store... Looked like just about any other grocery store. Isles and isles of food, bright, floressent lights overhead, and obnoxious "elevator music" playing from hidden speakers. Feeling completely out of his element, the black hedgehog grabed a shopping kart cart and began his quest for food.

The Ultimate Lifeform. Pushing a shopping cart.

"If there is a God in This World," Shadow grumbled under his breath, "He hates me."

[xenomina]

"TRAVIS! GET YOUR BUTT OVER TO ISLE 5! SOME KID THREW UP ALL OVER THE CANNED VEGGIES!" Someone randomly yelled not long after, only confirming the ultimate lifeform's hate.

"Yeah yeah!" A not-so-ordinary worker grumbled, walking by in a corny uniform, dragging a janitor's bucket behind him. "I hate my job..."

"LESS TALKING, MORE WORKING!"

[Native One]

Lucas sighed in relief. Even though the black hedgehog had come to the same grocery store, he had went in a different direction than where he was suppose to go. Lucas got himself a shopping cart and went to his destinated isle. All he has to do now is avoid him.

When he was almost to his isle, he reached into his pocket and took out a list.

Okay... Let's see. I need Lon Lon Milk, Ordon Cheese- He reached his isle and turned into it, -Pikpik Carrots-

But before he could continue, he slipped on something... green?

He swent flying on his back, sliding for a little bit until he reached the frozen foods section. He hit the freezer and made it crack slightly. The shopping cart also came flying over and smashing into the glass, making it fall over the floor. Luckily, Lucas was able to dodge the cart, and was breathing heavily while leaning on a pyramid of...

...canned veggies.

"AHHH!" Lucas suddenly jumped up and started rolling on the ground, as if he was on fire. He tried to wipe the vomit off of his back, but it only made it worse. He ran to the paper towels (which were also in that isle) and took out a roll. He turned his shirt around and furiously wiped the paper towel over the big splotch.

[xenomina]

When Travis reached said aisle, it had looked like a brawl had taken place without him. However, instead of a statue he saw one kid whiping himself off with paper....towels....

"HEY! NO USING THE PRODUCTS WITHOUT PAYING FOR THEM FIRST!" He screamed at the kid. This was the last thing Travis needed with his already miserable work day.

[Native One]

Lucas looked at the screaming man, and nearly had a heart attack. First a glaring hedgehog, now a screaming man. Today was full of surprises.

"I-I'm sorry!" Lucas immediately dropped the paper towels on the floor. "It's just that I slipped, and the cart crashed, and I leaned on the vomit-covered pyra-"

CRASH

Speaking of the pyramid, it just so happen to topple over, right into another isle. The force of the falling cans made a bunch of stuff fall off of the shelves. Another can had began rolling towards a walking man. Oblivious to the can, the man slipped and fell face first in the vomit.

The man stood up from the mess, wiped his clothes, screamed, and fled out of the store.

[Stoney]

It was official; Kirby had found HEAVEN.

"Food!" He chirped, running about the store looking every which way, unable to decide what to gawk at first. "Food! Food! Food!"

A delicious aroma surrounded him; a combined smell formed from the entire spectrum of potential edibles. It was intoxicating, making Kirby dizzy with hunger despite having only eaten five minutes ago. He looked to his left; bread, milk, butter! He looked to his right; potato chips, soda, snacks! He turned a corner; ice cream, pizza, desserts! He jumped up and floated over the isle; meats, sauces, and *gasp* CANDY.

This place was FULL of food! What a haul, what a haul! Was it another of DeDeDe's hoards? If it was, wasn't it technically the property of Dreamland, then? Wouldn't that mean he was entitled to some of it?

But then again, rationalization wasn't really Kirby's strong suit. He saw food, he saw he was hungry, and he KNEW what he had to do. Morality didn't really figure into the equation.

As he ran, Kirby opened his mouth and began to inhale. Everything from peanut butter to sausage to cookies zipped off the shelves immediately around him and into the cavernous opening in his body as he flew down the isle like a madman.

...Mmm, chocolate chip! <3

[SHM 128 III]

Shadow had ignored the going-ons between Lucas and Travis. He really could care less about the kid, so long as he stayed out of his quills. Looking down his "shopping list" (actually the inventory sheet for the ARK's kitchen), the hedgehog checked to see what he had to get.

"Hmm... Let's see here..." Shadow grumbled, "Hamburger meat, salad, fish, tang, Chaos Cola, salsa, bread, buns, ketchup, mustard, milk, cheese... Wait a second..."

He stopped as he realized how long this list actually was (it was nearly ten pages), not to mention the quantiy of each product (ie. loaf of bread x1000). Apparently, it was safe to assume that the government did not stock up the ARK just by going to the grocery store. Although it was tempting to just Chaos Control the entire store onto the ARK, he knew that would undoubtedly cause more problems than it solved. Even more frustrated now, Shadow just decided to reach for a bag of chocolate chip cookies...

... Only to watch it suddenly fly off the shelf and slide down the isle.

"What the... Get back here!" Shadow demanded, chasing after the cookies. No, he wasn't that big of a fan of the snack (he really only reached for them because they were there), but his ego wouldn't allow him to be 'beaten' by a bag of cookies. So, he raced after them, completely oblivious to the fact that he was wandering straight into the deathtrap known as Kirby's mouth.