Planet Heck: Early Bird Gets the Worm

[Vize Viper]

Nope. Still not impressed.

"Come on, you run a planet that's basically HELL, and the best you can think of is... Shoving Slippy down a hole, static rugs, DMV lines, and EATING ME?"

Falco shrugged. "You seem kinda amateur to me. OIKONNY makes better threats than you do."

[AnT]

SILENCE!!!!!!!

From his roar, the entire planet shook, and all the rivers of lava rose like tidal waves before dying down.

"Fool! The world you so wrongfully tread is the Planet HECK!! I'm the devil's pet actually... That was the layer of the cake for your slimy...thing friend. After that, he will spend the rest of his eternity, forced to face his worse nightmares, where his brain will turn retarded from the horrible horribleness of it-"

Suddenly, a strange humanoid rat in a commando armor that looks like cheese walked by with a towel and toothbrush.

"*yaaaaaawn* Morning, boss."


"Henchrat? What are you doing you fool? G-Get away from that curtain you..."


Too late, for the rat pulled the curtain to the side. "Boss? Henchrat didn't know you use bathroom. My bad,"


What it was is some kind of small computer room designed to control the fire-monster image. And pulling the strings was a small rat-like cat with demon-like ears, and stringy tail that looked like a rat's, and a jagged buck-tooth.

The cat snarled with deadly fury...but realized that he was found out by his captors. "Uh..." pulling the mic, "Pay no attention to the feline. He is...my pet. I am a fiery demon of this planet, and not a cat. I am..."

No point now as he tossed away the mic.

"Oh poopie..."

[SHM 128 III]

A cat.

Slippy was being menaced by a tiny cat.

A cat that was seemingly in control of an entire planet and commanded an army of demon snowmen, sure, but still... Even by Slippy's standards, this was rather embarassing.

"Wait a minute..." Slippy began in disbelief, "You're just a small cat... But... How?..."

Slippy was clearly still too stunned (and embarassed) to speak well.

[Vize Viper]

Falco glanced over at the amphibian, his voice taking on a familiarly sarcastic tone.

"You've never seen The Wizard of Oz, have you?"

[slomoto]

"I suppose the dramatic approach is wasted on brave pilots like you." Evil said, advancing on the group, unsheathing three large claws the size of steak knives. He paused by a nearby chalkboard and raked the metal claws across the surface of the board, making a hideous screeching noise. "Still, my intentions are the same: you will stay here and be my objects of torment for all eternity, or at least until I succeed in my ultimate plan to desssstroy the universssse."

"That might take long time just yet...." The henchrat added.

Evil growled and grabbed the Henchrat by his head, shoving it against the blackboard and pushing down, making the exact same hideous screeching noises.

"Ow! Thank you...."

[AnT]

From the floor next to the pilots, Mia Fey finally woke up. "Huh...w-what's going...?" And her sight cleared, with the comedic duo, Evil and Henchrat as the first thing she came to. "....my case still rests that this is a dream..."

And she dropped her head, but in nerves and frustration, not fainting.

[SHM 128 III]

Slippy opened his mouth to respond to Falco, but was cut short as he clamped his hands over his (nonexistant) ears as Evil clawed at the chalkboard. Pain aside, the revelation that their tourmentor who was now proclaiming plans of world domination was nothing more than a cat did help to raise Slippy's confidence... If only a tiny bit.

"Destory the universe? We've defeated plenty of people like you before! Isn't that right, Falco?"

[Vize Viper]

Falco winced at the sound of the nails on the chalkboard, before nodding in response to Slippy's question.

"Yeah, we can take care of jerks like him with our eyes closed."

[slomoto]

"Well, if you don't need your eyes, I'll be glad to claw them out for you." Evil snarled and made a lunge at Falco while still bearing his claws.

[dice=6] Catscratch!

The Henchrat, following his bosses lead, cocked the strange metallic gun he held and unleashed a gob of what could only be described as mushy french cheese towards Slippy and Mia. "This is fun boss!"

[dice=6]Slippy [dice=6]Mia[rand=017323111061680838352334485913426648704666112508967659481164454]

[AnT]

[dice=6]

"GCK!!!!" the poor woman was now covered from waist to neck of gunky cheese, pinned to the floor she was when it hardened like rock. The woman, frightened she was, struggled free...

...well...maybe not frightened.

In reality, Mia Fey was playing the helpless damsel, and right now she's pissed at the idiotic rat. Glaring at the cat, her eyes gave a dim glow, unnoticible to the heroes. A telekinetic communication to the cat.

'My lord, is this highly necessary? I have done the job of luring these freak of mortal-nature away from their ships. Can I go and destroy them for you?'[rand=26170410735413907766222417681993892554455099208199175361621052713]

[SHM 128 III]

[dice=6]

Slippy simply sidestepped the sludge (try saying that ten times fast!) that the rat shot at him. Granted, it didn't appear that the... cheese?... was very dangerous in the first place, but still.

In a quick motion, Slippy reached into his hammerspace back pocket and pulled out a hand grenade. It began to blink slowly in his hand, but the pace of the blinking started to increase rapidly.

"At least Andross had the intelligence to check his prisoners for weapons!" the toad retorted as he threw the grenade at Henchrat.

[dice=6][rand=38147642045301783881279716912567385837295199125867136492772207112]

[Vize Viper]

[dice=6]

Falco, as he saw the cat coming at him, just smirked, and backflipped away, before, with a flash from his waist, VANISHES, streaking through the area occupied by Evil.

[dice=6][rand=839092953046044196044268954189251324950651001873833313499014969383]

[slomoto]

[dice=6] Evil was momentarily blown aside by theforce of the attack, skidding back on all fours he grinned. "Even evil cats always land on their feet, parrot." His eye twitched and he added to no-one in particular, "you are no longer needed, allow the henchrat and I to handle this." With a flash nearly as fast as Falco's, he latched onto the pilot's back with his mouth filling with a curd-like substance he spewed at the pilot's head.

Acid Furball [dice=6]



[dice=6] The henchrat merely stepped lightly back and fourth on his toes as the grenade flung to him. He picked it up and attempted to lob it back when it went off in his hand, leaving him a charred mess.

*koff* "Thank you..." He fell backwards, unconscious. [rand=6344160854843296827553049671669863149481358768619113832696045353]

[AnT]

She wanted to question his decision, after seeing the foolish rat go down for the count, but Mia rather not face Evil's fury. 'Uh...if you say so, my lord.'

But she's still trying to break free of the cheesy prison.

[SHM 128 III]

With Henchrat down for the count, Slippy turned his attention towards Evil... Only to see the cat currently on Falco's back!

"HEY! GET OFF MY FRIEND!"

With speed that would've made Revolver Ocelot jealous, Slippy pulled out his blaster and took three shots at Evil... Which'll hopefully hit him and not... You know... Falco.

(First Die: 1 = Going to hit Evil; 2 = Going to hit Falco; Second Die: Actual Attack Roll)
[dice=2]
[dice=6]

[dice=2]
[dice=6]

[dice=2]
[dice=6][rand=8101475085919098593242900983628475709750345233516672297419700295]